The Many Adventures of an Anxious Queer

shit i’m totally getting a c　rush on somebody in my smallest fandom

I’m supposd to be sleping but i can barely breathe much less sleep right abouut now sory for typos ir illegibility i just need to fet this put also sorry for no cut since i am on my phone

anyways tomorrow i am suppoaed to be boarding a plane. i ain’t afraid pf flight in theory (i run a bird blog how could i be afraid of flight in theory) but i’m terrified of air travel

i’m sitting here thinkig not of the thousands of flughts where nothing goes qrong and only of the flights wheere agents miss soemethig and something goes wrong
i’m thinking of the fact that i’m bringig a pen and a pencil in my carry-on because i pln on drawing and studyig for my ap gov test and the fact that someone in my art class had his paintbrush confiscated by tsa at what i assume was this very aorport and oh my gosh you could do so much more witha pen or pencil than a paintbrush
i’m thinkig of the fact that i’ll have to face one of mu worst fears which is flying over water and oh gosh what if yhe plane goes down on the water
i’m thinking pf the stories pf loat luggage and oh god whar if they lose mine quite a bir of my life is in that luggage

oh gosh i’m shaking so badly i feel all warm and breathing is hard
also what the hell ponly one perspn follows me here so hey my main blog is charmingsprout

time to go pick up my laptop and i’m shaky as fuck

can they just give it back without saying what was wrong

please

i get really paranoid whenever someone so much as LOOKS at my computer so the fact that someone i don’t know is touching it and messing with it is making me nauseous heh

i really hope they manage to restore all my files because damn i do not want to transfer them again, that took forever

also i’m nervous about getting a new phone

and i’m nervous about the tech guy deleting my pirated photoshop

and i’m nervous about leaving to college

i’m a nervous wreck right now and my stomach feels like a stone and all i want to do is sleep but the nervousness and nausea is keeping me awake

eleven at night is too late for phone calls if they’re just because you want to talk

dear sister, please remember this

that usually makes me feel better

unnnnnmgffrrr

thanks to all the work i have due tomorrow and how little i want to do any of it and how personal every single bit of it is

can i just go back to sleep and sleep through tomorrow

(tagged for emetophobia for other people; i myself have no fear of the action.)